Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Actress Hairstyle/News and Beer

If an actress cuts her hair short to be taken as a serious actress, she needs to be able to seriously act. It worked for Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, Sigorney Weaver and Nicole Kidman. Not so much for Sharon Stone.

In honor of Actresses who believe that a short hairstyle will help them to be taken more seriously I have the Beer/News comparison. More proof that short hair does not automaticly give you gravity.

The Economist is like Guinness. It is the pinnacle of everything. It is rich and full of complex details and multiple layers. No one ever has Guinness as their first beer and no one reads an Economist as their first description of a new event.

Jon Stewart is like Blue Moon. Blue Moon does not seem like real beer and Jon Stewart does not seem like real news but if you are around either of them for a little bit you realize how amazing they are and that they are more than simple entertainment.

Glen Beck is like O’Doul’s. It seems real but there is no substance to it. You get all of the bad bitter taste but nothing is real.

Peter Sagle (Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR) is like Pabst Blue Ribbon. Inexpensive. Not overly good, but has become the coolest drink in the bar.

Bill O’Rilley is like Budweiser. He is the king of news media, but he is still not very good. If this former Inside Edition host is Budweiser does that make Mario Lopez Bud Lite?

Sheppard Smith is Tsonga Beer. He mispronounces so many words that he deserves a beer that he cannot pronounce. Despite his mispronunciations he is still the best thing on Fox news.

Carol Costello is Yunegling. It is a great beer that is hard to find. CNN should give her more air time.

NPR is a Sam Adams variety pack. It has some parts that are great. Some parts that are mediocre. None of it is bad, but it is not nearly as good as it think it is.

Crossfire is like a Michelob Black and Tan. An interesting idea of putting together two different elements, but like Michelob it is just bad.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Ten best movies I saw in 2010

Yes, some of these movies did not come out in 2010. But these were the ten best movies I saw this year. I saw some in the theater, some on planes, many on Netflix but the rule was that I had to see if for the first time in 2010. This list has documentaries, independent darlings, comic book adaptations, and a movie that features the most bizarre sound track since South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut.
1. The Kids are All Right – I hope Mark Ruffalo gets at least an Oscar nomination for best supporting actor.
2. It Might Get Loud – one of the twenty best films of the decade. If you like guitar solos and you have not seen this quit reading this and update your Netflix Que.
3. The Joneses - this quirky comedy about the dangers of materialism and how we evaluate the success of our marriage and our life while examining the subconscious "who has the bigger MALE BODY PART in the suburbs” phenomena. It also makes us determine if we "need" a riding lawnmower with a TV to become a complete person.
4. Ghost Writer – the second of two Roman Polanski films on this list.
5. Kick Ass – a dark, dark, dark, dark, comedy about vigilantes. It will probably go down as Nicholas Cage’s last good movie.
6. Get Him to the Greek – it is not a great film, but it is fun. Props to P. Diddy for basically doing a very funny imitation of himself.
7. Mysterious Skin – this was the first film I watched strictly because Joseph Gordon Levit was the star. It will not be the last. The subject matter is disturbing but Levit is amazing. After watching him in 3rd Rock from the Sun, I never thought he could act nearly this good.
8. Death and The Maiden / Law Abiding Citizen – these two films both were about revenge on rapists. They were done very differently and both were amazing. In both films, you do not know who the good guy is and who the bad guy is. If you are deciding between the two go with Death and the Maiden. Sigourney Weaver and Ben Kingsley are better than Jamie Fox and Gerard Butler.
9. Up In the Air – if you are a consultant it is a documentary of our life. George Clooney is perfect. Easily one of his five best films and top three performances!
10. The Social Network – only down side is that expectations were too high. I thought Charlie Wilson’s War was better written. I thought Seven, Fight Club and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button were directed better.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Top 25 Movies of 2000s: 13: The Namesake (2007)

Who am I? Am I a product of my environment? Am I a continuation of my culture and my namesake? Am I my own person? These are the questions presented in the massively under viewed “The Namesake.” The Namesake stars Kal Pen, which is a good thing and a bad thing. Primarily know for his Harold and Kumar go to White Castle films, in The Namesake he showed an amazing depth of ability, pain of a character and showed me more than I thought he was capable of as an actor. Unfortunately, most fans of Harold and Kumar would not want to see a coming of age film about a first generation Indian-American. Most art house film fans would automatically dismiss a film from the guy in “that stupid stoner film who was on House.” Both groups would miss out on a great film. Kal Pen can act!!!
We have all taken a job to pay a bill. Actors take jobs to pay their bills. See George Cloney in “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”. See Denzel Washington in “Carbon Copy.” See Natalie Portman in “The Phantom Menace.”
There is an amazing scene (SPOILER ALERT) after Penn’s father died. At the time, Penn, newly out of college, was dating a rich white, blonde woman woman and essentially embracing her upper class lifestyle and completely ignoring his family. Then he gets the shocking news. His father dies. The scene follows with him shaving his head while great rap music plays in the background. The scenes blends a flashback with Penn’s own father shaving his head after his father died. This blend shows Penn returning to his heritage. This transformation foreshadows how he will address the relationship with his girlfriend and all future relationships.
The Namesake shows how someone evolves. He was the loyal son. Then he was his own person. They he became the person his family wanted him to be. The film concludes with no obvious answer. He realizes that his life journey does not have a map. Like most people in their 20s, he does not know what the right thing is for him, but he is discovering what is NOT the right path. This does not provide full enlightenment, but it does help to shape the person that he is becoming.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Top 5 TV experiences of 2010

It is the end of the year and as someone who likes lists and hates coming up with original writing ideas I decided to make a list of the Top 5 TV experiences of 2010. A “TV Experience” is similar to a “Girlfriend Experience” without the extra $1500 and a rash that never seems to go away. A TV experience is a season of a TV show that I watched this year. This can be a new show. It can be season of a show that I had not seen or it could be a DVD set of a TV show that came out previously and I have not had a chance to view it.
1. Treme
Treme tells the story of New Orleans as the city recovers from the “Man Made Disaster” that was Katrina. It explores the different perspectives, challenges, needs and frustrations that people who choose to come back home to New Orleans instead of taking the easier route of moving. New Orleans is the only unique American city. You could go into restaurants, offices, city blocks in any major city and they are indistinguishable. New Orleans is different. Treme tells its story. It explores corruption, incompetence of city/state officials; contractors who took money and did not do work; musicians trying to get by living gig to gig; and people doing whatever it takes to bring the city back to its greatness. Stephen Zahn is the best part of the show. His quick humor, reliance, humor, energy, womanizing, helpful, everyman characteristics, happy go lucky personality and true devotion to music make him the living epitome of New Orleans. If you like his character you would love New Orleans.
If you like these things you (might) like Treme: The Wire/Generation Kill (same writer/production team, but those were much better). Concrete Blonde’s Bloodletting CD (great songs about New Orleans),
2. The League
The League (which most of you have never heard of) is a show on FX. It centers around five friends who are in a Fantasy Football League together. Just as Cheers was about a bunch of guys in a bar, The League is about a bunch of guys who play fantasy football. Fantasy Football serves as a way to put five friends together so we can watch these self-absorbed, crude, very funny people interact. This show is essentially about how men behave around other men who they can say anything too.
If you like these things you (might) like The League: It is Always Sunny in Philadelphia (same type of base crude humor and a dialog that seems to have come from a real conversation. ); Fantasy Football (helpful but not necessary); If you are not easily offended (jokes about masturbation, scaring children and cocaine fueled sex); if you have a group of friends you can bust balls with, tell jokes with, drink beer with, help them move and be there if you are ever really needed,
3. Life (Season 2 on DVD)
Life is a show that deserved to go on longer. There were only two seasons of this show. Life is about a cop who was exonerated for a brutal family murder after 12 years in prison. As part of his release, he received a huge settlement check (amount never disclosed) and got his job back as a Los Angeles Police Detective. His time in prison changed him. He embraced Buddhism and the shows have him receipt some sort of Buddhist statement. The best one was after getting a new Bentley “I am not attached to this car. I am not attached to this car.” This is a show that embraces the Who Dun It premise and gives it a radically different perspective. This show should have gone on for another three years.
If you like these things you (might) like Life; Buddhism; Intelligent TV shows that make you think; The L Word (Sarah Shahi stared in both. She is easily one of the 10 most beautiful women in the world. She is great in the show and deserves another TV show. NOW!);
4. Justified
This is a show about US Marshal who after a justified shooting, is reassigned to his home town in rural Kentucky. I can only hope that a future episode with feature the Creationism amusement park. Justified addresses how the US Marshal Service does a wide variety of things from Prisoner transport, criminal investigation, and anything that needs to be done. The shows strength, like all good shows, comes from two places outstanding writing and a character that you trust, are interested in and want to succeed. Timothy Olyphant who has always been adequate in movies but never outstanding has created a character that is entertaining, funny, tough, genuine and like all good western hero’s he always gets his man.
If you like these things you (might) like Justified; The Shield (Walton Goggins (Shane) from The Shield is a recurring character); old fashion westerns (the hero actually wears a White Hat); very, very dry humor.
5. Dexter Season 3 and Season 4 on DVD. Dexter remains one of the most creative, well acted, subtly/darkly funny, scary, shows on television. Dexter suffers from comparison to its first two seasons. The first two seasons were much better than seasons 3 and 4, but that is also like saying the 1996 World Series Champion Yankees were not as good at the 1927 Yankees. Dexter is radically different from any other character previously on TV. Dexter created a likeable, serial killer who operates within an ethical code that both serves society and his compulsion to kill. The best parts of the show remain the outstanding writing (especially Dexter’s narration), Sgt. Angel Hernandez (Always great and always underrated. He is the type of partner you would want if you were a police officer),
If you like these things you (might) like Dexter: Oz (several of the characters came from this painfully overlooked unflinching TV series that was in many ways darker than Dexter), anything about serial killers (duh)

Honorable Mentions:
1. Law and Order season 20: the television equivalent of a great cheeseburger. Always consistent, VERY formulaic, but NEVER disappointing. It deserved another season.
2. Man Men; I still have not seen an entire season beginning to end. The episodes here and there I have seen have always been good.
3. Nip Tuck; another show that started with two brilliant seasons, started to decline and had a good final half season to close the show well if not great.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Top 25 Movies of 2000s: 12: It Might Get Loud (2009)

Everyone with a soul has at one point wanted to be a rock star. If you are not a complete narcissist you wanted to play lead guitar instead of being the singer. It Might Get Loud will reawaken that part of you that came alive the first time you heard that first great guitar riff. It could be Nirvana’s “Smells like Teen Spirit”, Gun’s n’ Roses “Sweet Child of Mine”, Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lot of Love”, The Who’s “Pinball Wizard” but whatever it was you knew that you had never really been alive until you heard that music and a part of you knew that nothing would ever be the same.
That first great rock song is like your first great love. You discovered it almost by accident. You felt fear, raw sexuality, and like you were becoming an adult all in a few seconds. It Might Get Loud makes you feel that way all over again.
It Might Get Loud is a documentary featuring Jack White of the White stripes, The Edge of U2 and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin. Three great guitarist come together to talk music, to jam and talk about what influences them. The film comes across as a bystander who is a fan of great music who quietly sits while the three maestros experiment, jam, talk, joke and open themselves up in a way that you never see.
While most “Rock-umentries” (I hate that term. It is too contrived to have come from anywhere but a late 80s MTV staff meeting.) come across as a forced interview designed to say what genius the musicians are and that if you want to understand pure art you will buy their latest album. This documentary about musicians comes across as three people who are brought together because of their love of music and the guitar. You believe that despite the money, the fame, the adulation (aka groupies), that they would want to hang out on a Friday night in someone’s old house after a long week of work and play guitar.
This is the movie that is not a way to spend a Saturday night. This is the movie to watch alone. Then hang out with friends who like music (who really like music) ask the simple question “Which is a better Zeppelin song Rock n’ Roll or Whole Lot of Love?” in a bar that has a really good jukebox. Bring some quarters, a willingness to see where the conversation goes and blast the songs that need to be heard.
p.s. Ironically, my favorite Zeplin song is “Going to California” not loud but still powerful and brilliant. The song that woke me up was “Stairway to Heaven” I was 13, my first kiss came three months later and life would never be the same.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Top 25 Movies of 2000s: 18 500 Days of Summer

The five best romantic comedites of all time are:
1. Annie Hall – The Casablanca of romantic comedies.
2. When Harry met Salley – Fake orgasm, Wagon Wheel Coffee table, Don’t Fuck with Mr. Zero
3. Brother’s McMullen – if you have not heard of this truly independent movie check it out.
4. Say Anything/Singles – same director, same city, same cameos (Eric Stoltz and Jeremy Piven), both AMAZING soundtracks.
5. Love Actually was number five until I saw 500 Days of Summer.
500 Days of Summer has a horrible opening. It begins withteh Pixxy Queen Zoey Dechenl wearing an engagemnt ring and holding hands with Joseph Gordon Levitt on a park bench.. You think that this weill be a very formulic boy-meets-girl, get engaged and live happily ever after. That was a good movie 60 years ago, but now we have seen that movie 100 times. 500 Days does not fall into that very easy trap. 500 Days tells the story of Zoey, her character’s name is Summer, and Gordon-Levitt by examing the 500 days between when they first met until that day on the Park Bency.
500 Days benefits by not having a sequential story. By having the story told non-sequentially the same events; going to Ikea, specific jokes, eating pancakes and Karokee lead to radically different reactions from the characters based on their psycholigical and emotional status. These scnes also shwo the evolution of the caracters. The emotional growth/maturation of Zoey and Gordon-Levitt is very reflective of the changes we go through in our late 20s/early 30s. The removail of our social anx and the realization of what is truly importatn and, to blatently still from the great Chuck Palunk, “let the things that do not really matter truly slide.”
The film also benefits from having two brieltly creative scenes. The morning after they have sex for the first time (ARE YOU REALLY SURPRISED TWO PEOPLE IN THEIR 20S HAVE SEX IN A ROMANTIC COMEDY?), Gordon-Levitt goes home in the moring and his walk evolves to a dance scene played to Hall and Oats “You make my Dreams come True.” This shows exactly how e feels without saying a word.
The other creative scnee is where Gordon-Levitt goes to a party at Zoey/Summer’s house. The party is shown in split screne. On one side it shows how Gordon-Levitt hopes/invisions/prayed to all that is Holy that the party will go and the other side whows hot the party actually goes.
The two scnes show how Gordon-Levit feels about Zoey. The full ranges of utter joy (think being 5 years old and getting a puppy for Christmas) and pure anguish (everyone with a soul has had their heart ripped out).
This is a very good movie. It is like a real relationship. Good conversations. Great sex. Funny jokes. Dancing. Pain. An awkward wedding. Joy. Karokee and like all adult relationships a trip to IKEA.

p.s. This was a great movie for Joseph Gordon-Levitt. This with the previous year’s The Lookout (overlooked and underrated) show he is a force to be reckoned with…

Top 25 Movies of 2000s: 19 Syriana

This film has a great cast. Almost everone of them was better in something else. Christopher Plumber was better in The Insider and The Sound of Music. The CRIMINALLY underrated Jeffrey Wright was better in Angles in America. The slightly over rated Matt Damon was better in the Borne movies. Chris Carter was much better in American Beauty, for which he deserved an Oscar, and Adaptation, for which he won an Oscar. The only exception is George Clooney. This is far and away his best acting performance. Clooney is one of the few actors who is hurt by being good looking. If he had average looks he would be apprecaited more, of course he would also get much fewer roles, but that is besides the point. He has proven that he can be very funny (O Brother Where Art Thou), serious (Good Night and Good Luck), charming (Oceans Eleven), tough (Michael Clayton) and in the case of Syriana extremly talented.