Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Actress Hairstyle/News and Beer

If an actress cuts her hair short to be taken as a serious actress, she needs to be able to seriously act. It worked for Natalie Portman, Michelle Williams, Sigorney Weaver and Nicole Kidman. Not so much for Sharon Stone.

In honor of Actresses who believe that a short hairstyle will help them to be taken more seriously I have the Beer/News comparison. More proof that short hair does not automaticly give you gravity.

The Economist is like Guinness. It is the pinnacle of everything. It is rich and full of complex details and multiple layers. No one ever has Guinness as their first beer and no one reads an Economist as their first description of a new event.

Jon Stewart is like Blue Moon. Blue Moon does not seem like real beer and Jon Stewart does not seem like real news but if you are around either of them for a little bit you realize how amazing they are and that they are more than simple entertainment.

Glen Beck is like O’Doul’s. It seems real but there is no substance to it. You get all of the bad bitter taste but nothing is real.

Peter Sagle (Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR) is like Pabst Blue Ribbon. Inexpensive. Not overly good, but has become the coolest drink in the bar.

Bill O’Rilley is like Budweiser. He is the king of news media, but he is still not very good. If this former Inside Edition host is Budweiser does that make Mario Lopez Bud Lite?

Sheppard Smith is Tsonga Beer. He mispronounces so many words that he deserves a beer that he cannot pronounce. Despite his mispronunciations he is still the best thing on Fox news.

Carol Costello is Yunegling. It is a great beer that is hard to find. CNN should give her more air time.

NPR is a Sam Adams variety pack. It has some parts that are great. Some parts that are mediocre. None of it is bad, but it is not nearly as good as it think it is.

Crossfire is like a Michelob Black and Tan. An interesting idea of putting together two different elements, but like Michelob it is just bad.

1 comment:

  1. That was great, Nathan. Not sure I agree on all points (didn't recognize everyone so can't judge on those) but very enjoyable. Loved the Stewart/Blue Moon comparison. Also, I think it's spelled O'Reilly, and Yuengling.

    What kind of beer do you think Amy Goodman of Democracy Now! would be?